Tag Archives: fiction

A preview…

Here’s a… preview, of something I’ve been working on.

Every morning before starting work, but after showering (rarely), and getting dressed (also rarely, as he usually sleeps in his suit), Richard Snow plays Russian Roulette with himself. He loads a single bullet into his Colt Detective Special -a snub-nose .38 special revolver- holds the gun up to his head, and pulls the trigger. He started this practice approximately three years ago, and continues it only on the mornings that he works, being every single bloody day, including holidays. You see, Richard is a private detective, and he does a job that if you did it it might drive you to play Russian Roulette as well. It goes a little something like this…wake up and get off of the couch in the office (yes he sleeps in his office, he doesn’t exactly make enough money to rent an apartment), piss (hopefully into the toilet), splash water onto face and into hair, (this would be the point that Richard tempts death) grab jacket and head out the door. After this, promptly go to the generic corner store down the street and buy a pack of cigarettes and an energy drink that makes the hand shake and heart beat 3 times faster than it should. Smoke a cigarette while walking once around the block, go back to the office, go inside, and sit down… spending the rest of the day smoking, drinking shit flavored coffee (until 4pm, when he switches to scotch) and glancing at the phone once in a while to see if it rings on command. It doesn’t. Anyway, put the gun down, there’s more story here to tell.

As usual, this is covered by my CC-NC-SA. I hope you enjoy it…


A short…

So back a couple years ago I wrote a few flash fiction pieces centering around a specific character. I dug those back up and decided to post them after some editing. Here is the first I felt was polished enough to present… enjoy.

“Mother fucker do you want to die?”
I glance up at the man, my fingers wrapping around the grip of the Sig P220 .45 inside my jacket. “Excuse me?”
“Are you deaf too? I said get the fuck out of the car and give me the keys and your wallet.”
“Ah yes… that.” I turn the car off and open the door, palming the keys as I do so. “Not a very good car though, stalls if you accelerate too quickly, and the…”
“Shut the fuck up and give me the keys bitch.”
“I left them in the ignition for you.”
He laughs, a deep, booming laugh and pushes me backwards, pulling the door the rest of the way open and getting into the car. “Your wallet too.”
Yeah sure, it’s in my jacket…” I reach into my jacket, wrapping my fingers around the grip of my gun again.
“What the fuck, the keys aren’t in the…”
Before he finishes speaking I punch him in the throat with my keys sticking out from between my fingers. As he starts to choke, I pull my gun out and tap it against the side of his head. “You picked the wrong person to attempt Grand Theft Auto upon, my good sir.”
“Freeze! Put the gun down!”
“Oh… hello officer.”
“I said put the gun down!”
“Of course.” I say and set the gun down on the ground.
“Step away from the car.”
“If you would let me explain officer, this man was trying to steal my car, I was simply defending myself.”
“Shut up and put your hands behind your head.”
“I am only explaining officer, if you would look at my license and registration, you’ll see that this car belongs to me and the gentleman sitting inside was trying to rob me. Also, he needs an ambulance…”
“Holy shit, he’s bleeding everywhere.” As the officer looks into the car, I slide the icepick out from my pant leg and stab him in the knee. As he topples and begins to scream I stab him in the throat and stand up.
“Tisk tisk, you should have let me explain.” I wipe the icepick off on his uniform and toss it in my car. The would-be car jacker has already bled to death in my front seat, so I open the door and pull him out. “And your luck ran out a while ago.”
As I start to drive away I remember the remote sitting in the passenger seat. “Oh yes…” I flip the switch on it as I turn the corner, and smile as I hear the explosion. “Ah, too bad they wont know that the bodies were desecrated before the explosion…”

So there you go. It’s a bit disturbing, I know… but if you don’t already know that I’m a bit disturbed, then you probably should be at this site ;-).

~Ian